First of all, it's NOT you, it's THEM. When i feel like I did something wrong, i constantly blame myself for it and I have been figuring out why I feel like this. For example, i will feel hurt, or feel betrayed to things that I don't know if I did or was it them doing that to me? Was it them putting guility into me? Or was they jealous of how I am doing well? There are many reason why we all feel like this. Especially when you have depression or any mental health issues that you have. We all need to remind ourselves that's our brain talking, not our heart talking. Most of time when we feel like this, we didn't think with our heart, we think with our brain. I have been going on a few dates with guys and women as well, things were good and they would just decide to be friends and I always, i mean ALWAYS feel like it's my fault because that's my depression talk, that's not Samantha's' talk. Or Samantha's thinking. Honestly, I wouldn't learn things like this without my therapist. She's the best thing that I have been learn so much about and coping with my depression well.
Do you ever feel like it's your fault? Do you feel like you're bad person? Do you feel like you are not good enough for them? Or the worst scenario, do you feel like that everything is cursed with you? All of that negative talks come from your depression, anxiety, and chemical substances in your brain telling you to turn you against yourself. We all struggles with two parts of ourselves--inner ad outer. Inner and outer are constantly battles inside our body and our wellness, because we want to feel good while we feel down. Especially when it comes to good women. I know how difficult for men to find good women but honestly, I believe that men are ignorant sometimes because they can overlooked a good woman with bad woman. Did you know that most men choose bad women over good women? Yes, it's fact because they thinks that they have nothing in common with good woman, well they are wrong. Being a good woman doesn't mea it's something that you have done wrong. It means that you have serve your life right and you know what you want in life. They are just idiots.
But we all know that there's one issue in dating....sex. Now come on, we all know that having sex is perfectly normal, but it's not normal to do it on first night compared to our time. I mean, I born in 90s and I remember my grandparents always telling me stories of how they met each other and how things go from there. I adore their times ad I wish that would be same as today. But sadly, today is more of connected via sex and we all don't want to have sex on the first night. We all just want a true connection, getting know each other better and reserve our souls from being damaged.
The only difference between a good woman and bad woman is how we want things differently. A good woman want a true connection, true MAN, not BOY. A bad woman wants a PLAYBOY, don't care about connection and just want a fling. Now you ask yourself this, it's your decision on whether you want to continue dating or not. Keep that in mind, its no ones fault at all, it's how society treats us, ,how people interact arouond us.
Now for me as a single who's DeafBlind woman, I often want to have a true connection, but honestly with you, all men sucks. Some woman are like that too but hey, didn't mean I am going to give up on the dating. I am going to keep going and be brave until I get what I want. IT's not easy to dating someone who eventually accept who you are but I cam turn them down right there because I know and see where it goes. Now, please don't think it's your fault, it's them.
Think about it.
Tactile love,
Samantha
