This past weekend was interesting and I have learned a lot of things in three days span. What do i mean by that, let me explain the background of information. This past weekend was date weekend with a guy from Oregon.
Background information: Dating can be suck sometimes, right? Of course! You can't expect it to be perfect, prince charming comes along at first love sighting. IMPOSSIBLE. Unless you pray for it, hard. Anyways, this guy and I have been talking for a few months. First time meet up was for me going over to Oregon for the weekend but apparently with communication being screwed up, I thought it was going to be whole weekend while he said no it's going to be a day. He informed at last minute which causing me confused and lucky for me, I save $$$ on the hotel! But when we first meet up, it was so good that we actually get along but I did noticed that he doesn't do well with crowd of people then that's when i discovered that he has social anxiety. Don't get me wrong about going out on a date with guy who have severe anxiety. I like to date different guys as long as their personality is good.
ID: A background of dark sky with the lake in the middle among the hills on the left side and right side. It comes with saying: "I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your head when you don't even understand it yourself".
So that's bring up another interesting fact. Last weekend was just bizarre and confusing. IT goes both of ways meaning both of us. First of all, I usually connect so quickly with guys mostly than girls. But this past weekend, I felt nothing, no sparks, no chemistry and i felt like something's not connecting or click things off right. We did went out on date, bowling, dinner, showed him around Seattle and do errands. But suddenly, he got upset easily because of word: "aggressive'. I might use it in wrong way or use in different sentence. He thought that I mean that in the bed but really no I tried to google it up and discovered it's "passive aggressive". He understand but gave me confusing conversation because it's like on same page then goes on different page then back and forth and so go on. That moment I realized something: he's not stable. He is not on his medication, he didn't seek for help, and stuff like that. The good thing is that he did asked me to be his girlfriend but bad thing is that I said no. Because i learned my lesson big time from pervious relationship to the point where we jumped into relationship and eventually forget about ourselves. I don't want that again with him. I told him no, and explained that he needs to take care of himself now. He need help. I am more than willing to be his friend and being supportive for himself all the way.
ID: A gray sky with the ocean waving and smash against the cliff with the person standing on the top of the cliff. With the saying: "I get nervous about everything. sometimes I literally don't know why I am anxious. I just am and no one seems to understand that".
The sad part is that he left me and weekend wasn't completed. I felt hurt by his words, i felt hurt by his departure, and I have depression, I easily become sensitive and my whole life, people ALWAYS left me. Never coming back into my life again. It's sad because I would love to be his friend, learn more about anxiety and how we can make things easy for people, understand them what's it like, and adjust to match their needs. But i guess that's loss for him. I mean, there's always learning every day but I love to learn from a person because it comes with a lot of benefits, there's no doubt about it.
Anxiety is a serious thing. I am not kidding, it's definitely not for me. I will date someone if they're stabilized and seek the help at same time. It's such bummer that when you date someone then it turned into something horrible and impacted on you hugely. So to him, he said it's bad experience for him but for me, it's learning experience because I love challenges, I love learning.
ID: A background that looks like a regular mountain view along with many things blend in. With saying: "Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it".--Kahlil Gibran
Ladies and Gentlemen, please do treat them as a normal person as much as you can. Otherwise you will end up being their mother/father instead of friends, or even partner.
Keep that in mind, anxiety is part of mental illness and we all should support each other because honestly, you don't know when it will impact you or pop up in your life. You just don't know...
ID: A blank background with saying: "Spend time with people who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you".
